


be careful not to choke on your tongue (get famous!)

by kickedshins



Series: when the radio lights came on [3]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Angst, Post-Canon, albeit hidden under a lot of jokes and chatter, also hey new author im theo im guest-starring in the jafcu!, and its a good friendship w a lot of respect in it, and lily looks up to him in a way too, as a journalist and as a person who just refuses to break, i think ben kinda looks up to lily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28398837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickedshins/pseuds/kickedshins
Summary: Lily sighs deeply. She rolls her shoulder, trying to push his hand off of it, but it stays where it is. “You know, I thought we were here to talk about how I was the good one at investigative journalism, not you.”“Well, this isn’t investigative journalism,” Ben says simply. He tilts his head a bit to the left. “This is just me understanding my friend.”or, Ben and Lily talk about fame, and Lily thinks about family.
Relationships: Ben Arnold & Lily Wright
Series: when the radio lights came on [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924438
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	be careful not to choke on your tongue (get famous!)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm theo. i'm fp and jules' friend (i actually got them both into kfam) and i'm guest starring with a little ben and lily friendship fic. nothing much just them being sweet and having a convo about lily having been famous. 
> 
> NOTE: most of the references to alcoholism are lily making jokes about herself. i am not the type of person who enjoys writing angst for the sake of angst, especially on a topic that hits Very close to home for me, so don't worry. it's not shitty trauma porn. still, there's a bit of lily being upset w herself because of her issues with drinking, so if that's upsetting for you, i think you should probably sit this one out!
> 
> title from 'get famous' by the mountain goats (i'm gonna plug my lily playlist in the end notes). and now with all that being said, enjoy <3

Lily’s been told many times in her life that she needs to quit being so judgmental, but nine times out of ten, her judgments are dead on, so she typically summarily ignores that relatively crappy advice. She’s a sharp woman, good at reading people, at immediately figuring out what makes them tick, at understanding how best to present herself in order to get them to do what she needs. It’s not that she’s manipulative, and it’s not as if she has a thing about going on a power trip—okay, well, maybe a little—it’s just that she’s smart. She gets people. And, as misanthropic as she might come off, she really enjoys getting people.

Which is why she knows something’s up when Ben brings her a mug of hot chocolate in the living room before bed. It’s not completely out of the blue for him to randomly give gifts—he’s got a big heart, he needs to physicalize the love that can’t be stored inside of his tiny body—but it’s very out of character for him to remember that yesterday, she was complaining about not having had a good homemade hot chocolate in a minute. She loves Ben, really, but he’s afflicted with the world’s worst short-term memory. If it doesn’t get put into his phone, his notebooks, or Sammy’s brain, Ben’s likely going to forget about it. 

Honestly, when Lily said that thing about hot chocolate yesterday, she was more hopeful that Emily would latch onto it, because she’s by far the best cook between the four of them, but whatever. Emily’s at her own place, probably getting ready to go to bed now that it’s ten in the evening, and it’s not as if Lily’s about to turn down free hot chocolate.

“Hey,” he says, standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. “I got something for you.” He presents the mug like he’s a first-grader holding a shiny apple up to give to his teacher. 

“Well, come on in,” she tells him, summoning him forward with a wave of her hand. “I’m not gonna make you stand when there’s a perfectly decent couch right underneath me.”

Lily doesn’t spend a ton of one-on-one time with Ben. Part of it is because she’s just more likely to be hanging around Sammy or Emily or Jack. Part of it is that it genuinely does get confusing having him and Jack in the same house due to how similar they are as people, and she can only handle so much uncontained energy in a day. And part of it is just that Ben’s a ball bouncing around a small enclosed space, hitting one wall and ricochetting to another, and Lily’s a lot more stagnant. Lily’s more of a slinky alleycat to Ben’s puppy.

She adores him, though—of course she does, who wouldn’t?—so it’s a welcome surprise that he’s coming to talk to her.

He perches on the arm of the couch. It’s well past his bedtime, but Ben doesn’t sleep much, and though Lily knows she should chastise him for not getting to sleep when he has to be up at around one in the morning, she can’t bring herself to do it. Jack used to be the same way during their 1090 days, and he’s less so now, but he still doesn’t sleep anywhere near as much as Sammy does. 

Not tonight, though. Tonight, all of her boys are apparently planning on getting absolutely no rest. Jack and Sammy are out stargazing, or some stupid romantic shit that makes Lily’s heart twist in her chest if she thinks about it for too long, and Ben’s here with hot chocolate in hand, despite the fact that he really should be sleeping.

Whatever. He’s shockingly functional on frighteningly little sleep. Lily, who considers herself a bit more human than golden retriever, is not. Maybe she’s just getting old.

“Mmm,” she says, choking down the hot chocolate. “This is… wow, Ben. It’s really something.”

“You don’t need to lie to me,” Ben says. He looks like a man resigned to the firing squad.

“Yeah, this fucking sucks, Arnold,” she admits. “I wanna just preface what I’m about to say with the fact that I am not trying to be cruelly snarky—”

“A first.”   


“—oh, shut up. But, no, I’m not being a bitch when I ask this. I am being as sincere as humanly possible. Do you… know how to cook literally anything?”

“Okay,” Ben starts, raising his hands defensively, and Lily snorts with laughter into her mug of burnt milk and melted squares of Hershey’s chocolate. “Yes, I do. I can, in theory, make some decent scrambled eggs. Also, Emily’s teaching me about, like, fancy knife cuts, or whatever the fuck, so I can make a beautiful salad.”

“Sammy’ll be pleased.”

“He will!” Ben says proudly. “So, yes, half-decent eggs, some salad. Next we’re tackling rice, which is obviously very easy, but I just…” He taps his head, frustrated. “Bad at remembering to take it off the flame. Often boils over. It’s not that I’m a bad cook, really, I’m just a distracted one. Also, I couldn’t find the hot cocoa mix, and I assumed that melted chocolate would work just as well, but I was apparently mistaken.”

“Yeah, and you kinda completely scalded the milk.”

Ben throws his hands in the air, falling backward onto the seat of the couch. “See!” he says, exasperated. He tilts his head backward, looking up at her upside-down through impressively pretty lashes. “I’m just shit at the whole timing aspect of it.”

“Alarms on your phone might help you out,” Lily says, amused.

“If I remember to set them in the first place. But whatever. That’s not the point. I’m a bad cook, and I apologize for the awful hot chocolate, and I’ll get Emily to make you one at some point. And once I get better at making food, I’ll try this again.”

“It’s fine,” Lily smiles. “I appreciate the attempt. You wanna grab me the whipped cream I know you’re all hiding from me in the back of the fridge? You’d think it was fuckin’ alcohol with the way you folks hole it away.”

“Ha, ha,” Ben says flatly. He pushes himself up to standing and gives her a look with enough  _ I’m not mad just disappointed  _ energy to rival Sammy “dad friend” Stevens. “Really, Lily.”

“Yeah, yeah, addiction’s not something to make light of, I get it,” she says to his back. “But if it’s not a joke, then why is it so damn funny to me?”

There’s a bit of silence from the kitchen, then Ben’s voice saying, “I just flipped you off. You couldn’t see it, but I did.”

“Wow, supportive,” is Lily’s dry response. 

He rolls his eyes, smiling, as he re-enters the room. “You’re more frustrating than Sammy sometimes, you know that? Not that I’d ever say that in front of him,” he’s quick to assure her. 

“He doesn’t need that ammo under his belt. I think I’m mixing metaphors there, but whatever.” He deposits the can of whipped cream in her awaiting hands. “Here you are. Sorry again about the ruined attempt at hot chocolate.”

“It’s cool,” she chokes out between a mouthful of whipped cream. “You want some?”

He shakes his head. “I’m okay.”

After another head-tilted-back hit from the can of sugar, Lily wipes her mouth and pats the seat next to her. “C’mon. You’re being weird by standing. You look like you’re about to tell me you got a C on your report card or something. What’s up? I know something’s up.”

Ben laughs as he sinks into the spot next to her. “You’re too smart for your own good sometimes,” he says, sounding a bit in awe. Even after years of her being around, Ben Arnold sometimes acts like Lily’s an untouchable being. Even after seeing her drunk and crying and at her lowest, he acts like she’s some incredible creature, some how-to guide for being a successful person, and as much as she adores that, it kind of terrifies her. 

Not that she’d ever admit it, of course. She’s Lily Wright. She’s got her head on straight. She’s a phenomenal journalist, known the world round, and the fact that Ben still sees her as that instead of as a washed-up alcoholic has-been makes her not-so-cold heart get just a bit more not-so-cold. 

“I know I am,” she says, because that’s the Lily Wright response, and though Ben knows her well enough to see firmly past her bullshit at this point, he lets it slide. “Really, though, what’s up?”

“Okay,” Ben starts, fingers playing with the drawstring of the pink Big Pine High School hoodie he’s wearing. Must be Emily’s. “So, you know how you’re, like, kind of famous?”

“It’s hard to forget,” Lily says. “Where are you going with this?”

“Well, I got caught up in a bit of a Google spiral the other day, as one does—”

Lily interrupts him, putting a hand out and pressing it against his chest to physically stop him. “Was this a normal people Google spiral or a Ben Arnold Google spiral?”

“What do you mean?”

“Y’know. Like, was it one hour, or was it three?”

“Normal people Google spiral,” he assures her. “I didn’t forget to eat or sleep or anything, if that’s what you were asking. Anyway, I went way deep into looking at reviews for Wright On, which, like, I know that that’s bad and I shouldn’t concern myself with people’s thoughts on you, because anyone who disparages you is deeply wrong, but also it’s kind of addictive? And of course I knew how famous you were, but I guess I didn’t really realize how famous you were, if you catch my drift?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I just… I dunno, I was wondering how that was?” he asks. He looks a bit eager, a bit embarrassed, a bit younger than he is, and though it’s not the first time she’s realized this, it hits her like a truck to know that Ben looks up to her.

She thinks about the paper pinned to the front of his fridge, and gives him a bit of a sadder smile than she’d have liked to give him. CRONKITE, BROKAW, it reads, with space at the bottom for one more name. 

“Not for the faint of heart,” she tells him. Gently, so gently. Lily isn’t gentle. Lily is sly, sure, when she needs to be, James fucking Bond levels of debonair, but she’s not gentle. Lily’s not gentle, but Lily’s trying to be nicer, and she thinks that moments like these are the first step.

“Good thing I’m anything but that,” is his defiant response.

“Ben,” she starts, and then she stops, because she really doesn’t know where she was going. “Ben, you’re a good kid.”

“I’m twenty-seven,” he says flatly.

Ignoring him, she continues, “It was honestly kind of shitty at times. Though I’m not gonna lie to you, it  _ is _ amazing to be a nationally accredited journalist, especially when you’re doing the type of important work I was doing.”

“Did you win a prize for your humility, too?”

She leans over and flicks him good-naturedly on the back of his neck. “It was great. It also took its toll on me.”

“Ah,” Ben says, nodding sagely. “I really don’t mean any disrespect by this, Lily, but I don’t think I’m on the path to alcoholism any time soon, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“What? No, what? That’s not what I meant at all,” Lily says, mostly because it’s funny to see Ben squirm. “Not everything is about alcohol with me, Arnold. Jesus.”

“Oh,” he says, eyes widening comically. “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking, and I just assu—”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she laughs. “And I’m kidding. You’re right. It wasn’t that being well-known drove me to drink, though. I’ve been dealing with that since I was, like, seventeen.” She waves her hand as she says it, like that’s going to make the content of this conversation any less heavy. And she tries not to think too hard about how this is one of the first times she’s out-loud admitted that she’s likely been an alcoholic since before she could even legally drink. 

Ben’s easy to talk to. Ben feels like family. Whatever.

Lily explains, “So I was already struggling with, y’know, alcoholism, and immense pressure exacerbated it. I’m not gonna say it’s like your obsessive notebooking, because it’s  _ not _ , not at all, but I know you can understand how easy it is to rely on an external source such as that to calm you down.”

Ben nods. “Of course, Lily.”

“That aside, though, it’s just stressful to be in the public eye. I mean, I thrived, obviously,” she’s quick to assure him.

“Yes, obviously.”

“But it’s the type of shit you’ve faced in King Falls. Just on a much larger level. You’re under a lot of scrutiny, and it’s to a lesser extent as someone who doesn’t have a face attached to their identity, but still. Trust me,” she laughs, “the listeners were quick to call me out on any small mistake my research team might have made, or if they thought I sounded particularly bitchy one day, or just for the hell of it.”

“Well, that’s shitty,” Ben frowns.   


“Yeah. What can you do about it.”

He shrugs. “I mean, obviously I get it a bit, considering the stuff that’s gone down here. Still, though. I’m sorry people were awful to you.”

“They were,” she agrees. “But they were also pretty great to me a lot of the time. I had a fan base, which is crazy. Like, I was just one random woman doing the news and cracking a few jokes along the way, and people loved it. They ate it up.”

“You’re a likable person, Lily,” Ben says. He says it as if it’s painfully obvious, as if it’s a fact, as if it’s the truth. He says it as if she knows it.

And, well, Lily disagrees. Sure, she’s entertaining, and she’s interesting from afar. Sure, she knows how to talk to people, how to captivate an audience. She knows how to appeal to people. She can wear an identity like a well-fitting suit, and she can damn well pull it off. But she’s not likable.

“I mean—” she starts, and he presses a finger to her lips.

“Shh. Shh shhshh. Shhhhhssssshshshshhhh. No,” he says, smiling sweetly. He has a dimple on one side of his face. She pokes it petulantly, but he doesn’t let up.    


Lily sticks out her tongue and licks his finger. 

Ben, because he’s even more of a thirteen-year-old than she is, shrieks and wipes it violently on Lily’s shirt. While he’s occupied with this, Lily says, “You know, Arnold, you don’t have to be nice to me just for the hell of it. You already brought me the shitty attempt at hot cocoa; you don’t need to coddle me to coax a story outta me.”

Ben puts his hand on Lily’s shoulder. “Lily,” he says, “I am a nice dude.”

“Yeah. It’s fuckin’ cloying.”

“No it isn’t,” Ben says, and, he’s wrong, yes it is, but only sometimes. Not that he has to know that. “But that aside, I’m not being nice to you so that you’ll tell me about how you handle fame. I mean, you  _ wouldn’t  _ tell me that if you didn’t want to, no matter how nice I was.  _ Especially _ how nice I was,” he corrects. “‘Cuz that would make the whole annoying factor worse, wouldn’t it?”

Lily sighs deeply. She rolls her shoulder, trying to push his hand off of it, but it stays where it is. “You know, I thought we were here to talk about how  _ I _ was the good one at investigative journalism, not you.”   


“Well, this isn’t investigative journalism,” Ben says simply. He tilts his head a bit to the left. “This is just me understanding my friend.”

All of Lily’s instincts are screaming at her to scoff, to deride him, to push him away. After all, Lily’s a place made for leaving, and Ben’s an adventurous enough boy that she’s sure that even without her nudging, he’ll run off to the next shiny thing soon enough. 

Besides, Ben’s the least of her problems, honestly. She’s close with him, thinks of him like family sometimes, but what does that mean? Family leaves each other. She knows that better than anyone.

She’s… shocked that Jack and Sammy still stick around. She’s shocked they haven’t run far, far away. There’s a precedent for that. It’s only in their nature to do it again. Lily knows a good deal about giving in to her nature.

But they stay.

Emily’s here, of course, because Ben’s here, of course, and Ben’s here, of course, because this is King Falls. He loves it like Sammy loves Jack, like Emily loves him, like Lily loves—

Well. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t have a _person_ the way the rest of them do. She doesn’t think she loves the way they do, either, and that’s. In a word, that’s scary. She doesn’t love the way Emily does (kind words; mugs of tea; _I understand you_ ) or the way Ben does (loudly; passionately; so wholly that it pours out of him) or the way Jack does ( _I’m sorry_ ; just exactly the right words someone needs to hear; like it’s the easiest, most human thing in the world) or the way Sammy does ( _I’ll stay up with you if you don’t wanna risk nightmares tonight_ ; _I picked up some snacks from the store on the way home ‘cuz you said you wanted some more_ ; lying through his teeth and saying _Who, me? Aw, Lily, this isn’t a new thing. I haven’t been drinking since I was, like, twenty-six. It’s not_ because _of you or anything, it’s just a personal choice_ ).

The four of them are all  _ pull _ . They bring people in, make them feel special, make them feel like they’re worthy of a place in someone’s arms, in someone’s heart. 

And Lily’s not that. She pushes away, hard, tips people over and hopes meanly that they crack their head when they hit the ground, because the more hurt they are, the less likely they are to dust themselves off and try to come after her again.

She’s damn good at it. She’s not the Strength for nothing.

But people like the four of them are resilient. And maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t want to push people away that much anymore. 

So she reaches up and puts her hand over Ben’s, over where it rests on her shoulder. She pats it and says, a little more softly than she’d like, “I’m glad you get me.”

“I’m glad I do, too,” Ben says honestly. “I mean, it took a hot second. You’re really good at pretending you’re a worse person than you are, did you know that?”

Lily laughs, and she makes sure the sound’s not a weapon. “I did, Ben. I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs, “I’ve found it’s a hell of a lot easier to live life as… y’know, yourself. Your authentic self. It takes a lot of energy to walk around faking it, and, like, it’s just not worth it! Be you! Which, okay, yeah, sounds fuckin’ kitschy, but it’s—”   


“—the truth,” Lily finishes. For once, not a drop of sarcasm laces her voice. “Yeah, it is.”

Ben launches forward like a dog lunging for a toy, and for a split second Lily panics because  _ flying fucking projectile _ , but it’s okay. It’s more than okay. Ben tackles her down onto the couch with one of the fiercest hugs Lily’s ever gotten, and she can’t help but giggle like a kid.

“Thanks, Ben,” she gets out between laughs.

He squeezes her tight, then sits up, pulling her up with him. After a second, he releases her from the hug, patting her on the arm as he does. “Thank  _ you _ ,” he says.

Lily raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

“Answering my questions. Helping me out.”

Oh, yeah, Lily had almost forgotten all this started because Ben wanted to ask her about being famous. She ruffles his hair a bit, ignoring his protests, and says, “If you’ve ever got questions about that stuff again, I’m here for you.”

“I’m here for you, too,” Ben says, and Lily really wants to wave him off, but she knows she can’t. Not tonight.

“I really, really appreciate it. And– hey, it’s super late. You should be getting to bed soon, don’t you think?”

“Probably,” Ben says, reaching for the TV remote. “You wanna start watching  _ Veronica Mars  _ with me? One investigation-lover to another?”

Lily grabs the can of whipped cream from where it’s sitting on the coffee table. She squirts another hit into her mouth, swallows, and says, “Fuck yeah. I can make some real cocoa, if you’re willing to wait a few minutes.”

He gives her a thumbs up, so she grabs the whipped cream and heads towards the kitchen. When she’s almost there, she turns around and says, “You know, one day I’m gonna be asking you how you handle your fame. Cronkite and Brokaw and Benny.”

“Don’t call me that,” he says, but he’s smiling like an idiot. 

“Even if it fits the syllable count?”

“ _ Especially _ if it fits the syllable count.”   


Lily rolls her eyes, the sound of Ben firing up the TV behind her, and goes to make some hot chocolate.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! as promised here's my [lily playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1CXX2arlua2G1UO0r6v9je?si=tbp2RnU2ScSUzWsxtSlvpQ) it is a wip and suggestions are ALWAYS welcome so send them to me if you've got them!
> 
> this was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it line, but i really like the headcanon that sammy quits drinking in solidarity with lily. not that he'd ever outright SAY it's in solidarity with lily of course but like everyone knows and no one makes a big deal about it and that's exactly how lily wants it to be. it's sweet and it's understated and it's full of love. not sure where the headcanon comes from i'm pretty sure just one of my texts with fp about kfam but yeah it's a Good Headcanon imo. i hold it very near and dear to my heart.
> 
> you can find me, fp, and jules all on twitter @ kickdshins, THINKFVST, and lcvelaces respectively. and as always, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


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